Pushing 29…away

July 9, 2008 at 3:44 am 4 comments

If the fashion magazines are to be believed, pink is the new black, and 50 is the new 40. And that means 40 is the new 30? Ok yeah, sure, why not? And 30 is the new 20? Nooooooo. No, my naive friend, no.

The gap between 20 and 30 is one that cannot be bridged by pithy fashion magazine quips. For a woman, the decade between age 20 and 30 is a gaping chasm into which have fallen such wonderful things as the ability to party all night and look like a daisy in the morning (even if you slept with make up on), the permission to wear mini skirts/ bubble gum pink lipstick or nail polish/ your hair in two ponytails, your skin tone, and most importantly (if you are a single woman) your parents’ faith in you to actually make something of yourself… even if you are the CEO of the world’s largest online shoe retailer or something else equally awesome.

20 was when you were swatting away dozens of men away each week because you ‘needed your space’. 30 is when you sing “I could’ve danced all night” when a cute guy sitting waaayyyy across the bar from you glances at you, and holds your gaze-with or without a smile- for anywhere from 10-15 seconds.

So is the big 3-0 the number to dread then? No. After all, that is not the title of this post. Ladies and Gentlemen, I put this to you- 30 is not the most dreaded number in a single girl’s life. That number is 29. Here are my reasons for it.

1. You feel that because you are still in your 20s and this is (possibly) your last year in them, you can do stupid things like: a) buying a ticket to Ireland with money you were going to invest in mutual funds- of the safe kind, then b) Getting incredibly drunk in a bar with a girl friend who has drunk you under the table and needs to be taken home on a stretcher and finally c) To add injury (of the mental kind) to insult, making out with a ugly, red-headed 17-year old boy whom you know only as “Lad”!

2. At 29 you work hard to keep 30 away. So you join a gym, to prevent your thighs and upper arms from jiggling as much and prematurely reaching the floor. Problem is, because you ARE almost 30, the gymming is painful, and, let’s face it, you already look kinda crappy in tights and anything sleeveless…so you never end up going anyway [There goes the money you were saving to invest in life insurance]

3. 29, the last year in the glorious decade that was the 20s, and you are suddenly overcome with remorse about all those great guys you swatted away 9 years ago, and it becomes your life’s mission to track them all down- every last mother’s son of them. And invariably, you will either find out they are married with 2 kids and a dog, OR they are still single, in which case, you date them and discover a) reason they are still single and b) that you did the right thing swatting them away in the first place  .

There are many more, but because I am very depressed today (I turn 29 in exactly 3 months- this is my last quarter of a year’s worth of sanity.) and as I can no longer stay up late and look like a daisy in the morning, this post must end here. To my sisters who’re pushing 29, push HARDER I say. If you spend the money you were saving to buy that cute 1-bedroom in Lonavla, you can probably buy this new cream I saw in Sephora made from Himalayan Lichen and Pacific Sea Cucumber jelly. It’s only $200 an ounce.


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There is hope yet! An ode to Girl Friends

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Karthik Kumar  |  July 9, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    “If the fashion magazines are to be believed, pink is the new black,”

    So who the fuck believes them?? 😀

    Nice Going Tarang baby….. Whether or not you reach 30 in physical age or not anytime soon,,at the rate you’re going,, you’ll reach 50 in “wisdom” real quick. :))

    Relax re….. You look fine in sleeveless (will look even better in something without oversized pink flowers 😛 )

    And all hollywood babes are 30+ and still “gym hot bods”,,so hit the treadmill with a vengeance. 😉

    Just don’t go “Size Zero”,,, irrespective of what “fashion magazines” say,, “Size Zero” is NOT the new “Sexy” :))

  • 2. Dinesh Babu  |  July 10, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Beauty is only make-up deep. I always liked women without make up and with a sense of wisdom in their speech. So don’t let age get you, you live the age.

  • 3. Paradox Phillic  |  July 12, 2008 at 2:13 am

    I am soon going to hit 31, single and still kicking… it isnt all that bad, you know!!

    🙂 Keep the faith alive sister…. its a fun ride!

  • 4. unwedintheusa  |  July 12, 2008 at 4:28 am

    Thanks, Paradox. That is what I needed, reassurance that the awesomeness will continue through my 30s- single or not. 29 is looming scarily.


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