An ode to Girl Friends

Occasionally, one hears a woman say to a man, with a hint of pride in her voice, “I don’t have too many female friends, you know, too much politics. Most of my friends are men.”  This, in my humble opinion, is either a lie or worse, it is something they believe to be true but discover sooner or later to be as un-factual as can be.

Whenever I have heard this statement and turned around to look at who it was that made it, it is one of 3 kinds of women:

1.     A five foot nine blond with a figure that’s a perfect 10… usually to a man old enough to be her dad; because she is looking for a sugar daddy.

2.     A woman ‘dressed for success’. Austere, dark pin-striped pant-suit, no-nonsense hair, limited jewelry, the barest minimum of make-up, and that because society demands it of a woman… in conversation with a male colleague with whom she works on Wall Street or the financial district of the town/city she is from, to indicate her interest in being allowed into the inner circle of the old boys club.

3.     A very, very young girl. New to college. Probably her first time away from home… to a guy she’s flirting with-and you can rest assured she’s never had her heart broken.

I want to say to these women, if you really don’t have any close girl friends, I am sorry for you. The world over, girl friends are the single most important support system for women to rely upon. And if, like me, you’re a single woman, then the importance of your girl friends (whether single or double) increases exponentially. I will explain why.

Girl friends are the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down. They’re sugar and spice and everything nice.  They’re there when you need them, and when you think you don’t (but really you do.) Girl friends are the lubricant that makes the ride of life smooth.

They make you feel beautiful, when you feel uglier than sin. They make you feel like a super model, when you feel as fat as the Michelin Man.

They go with you to Goa and drink neat rum every night for 3 nights while you cry over the boy you thought was the love of your life who merely thought of you as his ‘just for now’ girl*.

They eat a whole chocolate cake with you when you’re both on a diet and then tell you tomorrow’s a brand new day and then actually drag you out of bed to take you to the gym/ morning walk the next day!

They bring you coffee/ tea/ sympathy when the latest louse you were stupid enough to give your heart to played football with it for a bit, and finally trampled all over it.

They take you clubbing when all you want to do is get into your sheep-print pajamas and get into bed and cry for the next month or so, because you make horrible life choices. Usually you come out having been hit on by anywhere between 3-5 men (depending on the size of the club and how much time you spent on the dance floor) and totally back in the groove.

They join you in royally abusing your boss and his/her entire family when your increment doesn’t meet your high standards.

They warn you about the new louse you’re falling for. They introduce you to their very decent guy friends and colleagues to prevent you from going down the louse route again.

They stand up for the Real McCoy (if and when you do find him) when you’re mad at him about something completely insignificant and about to throw away the best thing you’ve ever had.

They cry buckets, shedding huge pearls of tears, when Mr. Right proposes and you FINALLY get engaged.

They convince your dad your fiancé is actually worthy of your hand in marriage and should not be put through the Spanish Inquisition.

They go shopping with you, visiting shop after shop in search of the perfect sari for the reception, never once complaining after you make them visit 30 shops only to return, in the end, to the very first one.

They sit next to you and hold your hand when your heart feels like it’s about to race right out of your chest cavity, when the priest says to you and the love of your life… this is it, this is real, this is forever.

They help you cook like a 5-star chef (or at least buy food from the best 5-star restaurant) the first time you have your in-laws over for dinner.

They get their husbands to introduce your husband to people he needs to know for work.

They go to Lamaze classes with you even if your husband comes with. (You ask them to, because you know you need them there; husbands are notoriously prone to fainting in delivery rooms.)

They treat your children like their own. Taking care of them, as you would of theirs.

There is a lot more I could write here, but my girl friends (you know who you are), and girl friends in general, are so awesome, I’d be up for a reeeeaalllly long time. So to those misguided women who take pride in not having close girl friends I say this again- I’m sorry for you, because you don’t know what you’re missing.

 

*[The phrase/description ‘just-for-now girl’ is courtesy Helen Fielding, my inspiration and also my fave female author after Jane Austen- she ties for second place with J K Rowling]